The Outbreak

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

I don't blame people who have it much worse than I do for being pissed at me. Dave, I don't even think that you ARE pissed, but I wouldn't blame you. We have not had it so bad. One family member, one best friend, a few friends of friends--that's all. Other deaths, other difficulties and tragedies and setbacks...I mean, these things could happen anyway. I try to keep that in perspective. But what can I say? Amy and I built a life in that apartment and now it's gone. I called over there yesterday and no one would answer the phone. I just wanted to see how they were--I care about those people, we lived in Fort Apache together for half a year. It's jarring and it makes me sad that we're not there anymore. Now I get to watch my family up close and personal as it falls apart, as my parents fail to hold it together for the first time in their adult lives, Xanax and cases of wine, tears and silence, boarded-up windows, cat shit, cold, dirty towels, yowling, rain, cabin fever, out of money, out of prospects, sitting around waiting to see what happens as the weather gets colder and wetter and snowier, waiting for Long Island to become the next Pacific Northwest or the next Gulf Coast, waiting for famine, waiting for the flu, waiting for bronchitis and pneumonia and laryngospasms, years of resentment never fully addressed, unequipped to deal with mental illness, two kids who never got anywhere and one who never got a chance, graduated too late, killers, dead neighbors, crazed neighbors, survivor's guilt, fighting over nothing, fighting over misplacing something, cats fighting, missing her family, the holidays, hopelessness.

2 Comments:

Blogger Steven R said...

I've been anxiously waiting another update from you, Sean. I sincerely hope all is well in your situation.

We've been doing well here. The kids are coping well with the loss of their mother, and I guess I'm coping as well. Installed a wood burning stove in preparation for winter. The utilities have been touch and go ever since this thing started, and winter in Michigan is no laughing matter.

The only other news out this way is that there have been rumors of outbreaks flaring up again in areas of some of the major cities out here that were considered "under control." I guess people may be letting their gaurds down. I hope that winter will slow down the spread of these things, but I'm afraid that so many people will be unprepared that things will just get worse.

At least I am rural enough that I am not affected as badly as you and many others. We rural folks don't have as many revs to deal with, but we don't have any governmental or military help when shit happens, either.

Once, again, I hope all is well with you. Hope to hear from you soon.

Wednesday, November 02, 2005 3:54:00 PM  
Anonymous table rentals said...

where have you been?

Tuesday, October 19, 2010 11:29:00 AM  

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