I have a family member who is not eating, not sleeping, completely apathetic, 180-degree turn from the normal personality. I feel helpless now. More helpless than when it started, or with my cousin, or with Josiah, or with my grandfather's actual death. I think things are getting better, but who can say? They shouldn't have to have gotten this bad to begin with. It makes me so sad. Helpless.

They're not going anywhere, and it's time everyone faced up to that. And by everyone I mean "me." Surely I'm not the only one, though, who was holding out hope that they'd starve to death or decompose or re-die in some other way eventually if they couldn't get ahold of things to eat? I don't know why the government decided to make the announcement now, just days after the Gulf. Well, yeah, they wanted to justify it. But it's really just more awful news, isn't it? Enough already, for Christ's sake, how much can we take?

Today i was waiting on line for gas and there one was, waddling down the sidewalk a few blocks away. It looked like someone from a group home, which happens. By the time I gassed up she'd already been shot down, bagged, and taken away.